Next Time You’re Suffering, Ask Yourself This Question | Caverly Morgan

Listen to this episode from 10% Happier - Ad Free on Spotify. Caverly Morgan is a meditation teacher who blends the original spirit of Zen with a modern nondual approach, drawing from her eight years of training in a silent Zen monastery. She's authored two books—The Heart of Who We Are: Realizing Freedom Together and A Kids Book About Mindfulness. Caverly is also the Founder and Lead Contemplative of two nonprofits—Peace in Schools, creating the first U.S. semester-long credited mindfulness course in high schools, and Realizing Freedom Together, dedicated to making practices that lead to liberation for all, accessible to all. Learn more at caverlymorgan.org.On Sunday, September 21st from 1-5pm ET, join Dan and Leslie Booker at the New York Insight Meditation Center in NYC as they lead a workshop titled, "Heavily Meditated – The Dharma of Depression + Anxiety." This event is both in-person and online. Sign up here!Episode CheatsheetThe big takeawayCaverly Morgan, a longtime Zen practitioner and teacher, argues that our biggest source of suffering is identifying with a small, separate self. By learning to notice the awareness that’s always present behind our thoughts and emotions, she says we can stop treating ourselves as works in progress and start living from a sense of wholeness, love, and freedom.Who am I, really? Unpacking the self, presence, and practical freedomKey takeaways:* The illusion of self: Most of us operate from a limited, conditioned sense of “me”—but true freedom begins when we gently question who’s really behind our thoughts and actions.* Awareness is always present: Instead of getting lost in effortful self-improvement, we can relax into the simple act of being aware, discovering a natural vastness and wholeness that’s already here.* Contemplative cross-training: Tools from mindfulness, self-compassion, and non-duality aren’t mutually exclusive—they reinforce each other, giving us a broader toolkit for emotional resilience.* Love is our true nature: Beyond personal practices, recognizing ourselves as love or presence opens up more compassion, better relationships, and a sense of unity with those around us.5 practical ways to ground presence and awareness in everyday life:* Homework in awareness: Keep simple prompts (like “Who am I?” or “Who’s aware?”) in your pocket—pull them out when you’re suffering or triggered, just to see what arises.* Let attention rest: Instead of efforting to “be present,” allow your attention to relax and come home to your own being—like pulling the light of a flashlight back inwards.* Use "effortless awareness": When noticing sensations or thoughts, remind yourself that awareness itself is effortless—practice with the phrase “breathing is being known” or “hearing is being known... by what?”* Flesh out conditioning: Journal on prompts like, “In order to be loved, I need to…”, “My parents always taught me…”, or “I’ll be happy when…” to bring unconscious beliefs into the light.* Ask the suffering question: In sticky moments, inquire, “Does clinging to this lead toward suffering or away from it?”—a simple reality check that can loosen up old patterns.Quotes to ponder:“Every time I believed I wasn’t smart enough, or I wasn’t good enough, I was reinforcing a false identity. The freedom came not from fixing those stories, but from recognizing I am not the stories — I am the awareness in which they appear.” –Caverly Morgan“The relief that has come from realizing, holy s**t, I don’t have to get better at anything. I love that we can apply these practices while knowing we’re already whole, we’re already complete, rather than having those practices fueled by something that used to fuel my practice very dramatically, which is: ‘Once I’m really good at these practices, then I’ll be who I want to be.’ ” – Caverly MorganEpisode timestamps:00:00 – Introduction to the episode and guest03:11 – Why start with the “self” and its reality (or illusion)04:48 – Caverly’s personal experience with panic, practice, and self-identity11:44 – What does “being aware” or “the vastness” actually mean?14:31 – Interplay of discipline, focus, and discovering “what is aware”19:45 – The paradox of wanting to “get better” at being present21:01 – The SNAP practice and moving from conditioned mind to presence23:50 – Clarifying the difference between “present moment” and Presence25:27 – Relative truth vs. absolute truth in daily life29:39 – How to practically return to awareness (“flashlight” analogy)33:44 – Addressing rumination and letting awareness come to the fore35:30 – Joseph Goldstein’s “effortless knowing” practices38:29 – Stabilizing in awareness vs. glimpses41:07 – The artful blend of effort and letting go43:15 – Using “what leads toward suffering/away from it?” in sticky moments46:57 – Recognizing ourselves as love; moving from separation to unity56:07 – Fleshing out conditioning—prompts for personal and collective awareness58:57 – Applying practices to reveal unconscious habits60:57 – Caverly’s books, offerings, and closing thoughts To hear more, visit www.danharris.com