13. SCHOOL SERIES: When They Just Don’t Get It: Navigating School with Neurotypical Parents

Listen to this episode from ADHD Mums on Spotify. This one’s for every mum who’s watched the birthday party photos roll in and realised — again — your child wasn’t invited. Or stood awkwardly at the school gate while other parents chatted like you weren’t even there. In this raw and necessary episode, Jane tackles the quiet grief of social exclusion: not just for our neurodivergent kids, but for us too. From WhatsApp politics to parent cliques to the unspoken ‘rules’ of what’s considered acceptable behaviour in kids — we unpack how the system trains us all to exclude those who don’t conform. If you've ever blamed yourself, masked harder, or told your kid to ‘just try to fit in’ — this episode offers a much-needed reframe. It’s not about fitting in. It’s about dismantling the gatekeeping in the first place. 💡 What We Cover: Why school exclusion is more than ‘just a missed invite’ The unspoken cultural rules neurotypical parents use to gatekeep inclusion What we internalise when no one includes our kids — or us How emotional safety and performance parenting collide Scripts for advocating without begging What to say to your child when they ask: ‘Why wasn’t I invited?’ Why this isn’t about being ‘liked’ — it’s about equity Need support navigating school chaos?Making School Work is your go-to advocacy guide for when your neurodivergent child isn’t coping — and the school says they’re fine. Packed with scripts, templates, and clarity for IEPs, school refusal, and shutdowns, it helps you hold your ground in the rooms that matter.Get it here: https://adhdmums.com.au/product/making-school-work-parent-guide/  Resources Mentioned: A Guide to Navigating School Pick-Ups for ADHD Mums: check it out here The Quiet Exclusion Kit: check it out here 🎧 Listener Questions please send here 🔗 Free Guides and Resources: https://adhdmums.com.au/resources/ 📚 Research References & Supporting Evidence1. Autistic children are invited to fewer social events Bauminger, N., & Kasari, C. (2000). Parent attitudes significantly influence social inclusion de Boer, A., Pijl, S. J., & Minnaert, A. (2012). Children with ADHD and autism are socially excluded more frequently Humphrey, N., & Symes, W. (2010).