How to Use Emotions as Data | Dr. Marc Brackett

Listen to this episode from The Art of Charm on Spotify. What if your emotions weren’t problems to fix, but signals to guide you? Dr. Marc Brackett, founding director of the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence and author of Permission to Feel and Dealing with Feeling, joins AJ and Johnny to break down why most of us were never taught real emotional regulation—and how to finally build it. Marc shares the RULER framework (Recognize, Understand, Label, Express, Regulate) and explains why emotional regulation is less about suppression and more about awareness, vocabulary, and strategy. From the “emotional budget” that gets depleted by sleep loss and stress, to the critical difference between anxiety, stress, and fear, this conversation reframes emotions as tools for better decision-making, relationships, and performance. If you’ve ever felt overwhelmed, mislabeled your emotions, or struggled to manage reactions in parenting, work, or conflict, this episode gives you practical science-backed steps to regulate instead of ruminate. What to Listen For [00:00:00] Why we’re programmed early to self-sabotage and mismanage emotions [00:01:09] Why most of us were never taught emotional regulation—and why it matters [00:03:33] How emotions secretly drive decision-making, relationships, and health [00:04:59] The concept of an “emotional regulation budget” and why sleep, food, and stress deplete it [00:06:57] Why scheduling wellbeing time is as important as scheduling work [00:11:15] Why 80% of students dropped out of Marc’s mindfulness study—and what it reveals about achievement culture [00:16:24] Why there’s no such thing as a “bad” emotion and how reframing anxiety changes everything [00:23:15] The real difference between anxiety, stress, and fear—and why labeling matters [00:27:16] Parenting and co-regulation: how to model emotional regulation for kids [00:31:03] How childhood programming and self-talk sabotage our ability to cope [00:39:37] Building emotional vocabulary: inside the How We Feel app with 500+ emotion words [00:46:17] What to do when you’re “flooded” and overwhelmed in conflict [00:48:55] The RULER framework explained: recognize, understand, label, express, regulate A Word From Our Sponsors Stop being over looked and unlock your X-Factor today at ⁠unlockyourxfactor.com⁠  The very qualities that make you exceptional in your field are working against you socially.  Visit the ⁠artofcharm.com/intel ⁠for a social intelligence assessment and discover exactly what's holding you back. Indulge in affordable luxury with Quince. Upgrade your wardrobe today at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠quince.com/charm⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ for free shipping and hassle-free returns. Grow your way - with Headway! Get started at ⁠makeheadway.com/CHARM ⁠and use my code CHARM for 25% off. Ready to turn your business idea into reality? Sign up for your $1/month trial at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠shopify.com/charm⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. Need to hire top talent—fast? Claim your $75 Sponsored Job Credit now at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Indeed.com/charm⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. This year, skip breaking a sweat AND breaking the bank. Get your summer savings and shop premium wireless plans at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠mintmobile.com/charm⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Save more than fifty percent on term life insurance at ⁠SELECTQUOTE.COM/CHARM⁠ TODAY to get started  Curious about your influence level?  Get your Influence Index Score today! Take this 60-second quiz to find out how your influence stacks up against top performers at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠theartofcharm.com/influence⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. Episode resources: MarcBrackett.com Dealing with Feeling Check in with AJ and Johnny! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠AJ on LinkedIn⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Johnny on LinkedIn⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠AJ on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Johnny on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Art of Charm on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Art of Charm on YouTube⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Art of Charm on TikTok⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices