How To Handle the Parts of Yourself That You Wish Didn't Exist | Satya Doyle Byock

Listen to this episode from 10% Happier - Ad Free on Spotify. Satya Doyle Byock is a psychotherapist and educator focused on the relationship with the unconscious. She is the director of The Salome Institute of Jungian Studies and the author of the book Quarterlife: The Search for Self in Early Adulthood. She writes weekly and hosts regular workshops on her Substack, Self & Society.Episode cheatsheetThe big takeawayPsychotherapist and Jungian educator Satya Doyle Byock unpacks Carl Jung’s enduring influence on psychology, pop culture, and personal growth. By exploring concepts like the shadow, wholeness, and dreamwork, Byock offers practical ways to engage with parts of ourselves that are often hidden, leading to greater self-understanding, creativity, and balance.Making friends with your shadow: Carl Jung’s playbook for wholenessKey takeaways:* Shadow isn’t just “bad stuff”—it’s the creative, hidden, and repressed parts of you waiting to be integrated for a fuller life.* Jung’s influence is everywhere: From “introvert/extrovert” to Myers Briggs, and even dream journaling, much of self-help owes a debt to his ideas.* Wholeness means including all of yourself: It’s not about becoming perfect, but about having a conscious, ongoing relationship with every side of you.* Synchronicity, the collective unconscious, and dreamwork are not just heady theories; they’re practical doorways to insight, meaning, and connection.6 practical ways to work with your shadow and dreams:* Try the Two Selves Exercise: On two pieces of paper, flesh out your “meaning-seeking/wild” side and your “safety-seeking/civilized” side. Give them names, personalities, and let them fully express themselves.* Make a pie chart: What’s the current balance of power in your life between these two sides? What’s your ideal?* Name your shadow parts: Use family, stories, or imagination to give names to the parts you’d typically suppress, envy, or ignore. This can give you more compassion and leverage in relating to them.* Dream journaling: Keep a notebook by your bed. Write your dreams in the present tense as soon as you wake up, focusing on story and imagery. Over time, themes emerge.* Look for recurring themes: After a few weeks, scan your dream records for repeated motifs, locations, or characters. Get curious about them—they’re trying to tell you something.* Treat your inner struggles with creative curiosity, not moral judgment. Artists, writers, and therapists know: exploring the stories, not just the “problems,” opens up insight and self-acceptance.Quote to ponder:“The basic idea of the shadow is parts of ourselves that we are not conscious of... I think of it as a huge amount of our creative self, or what would lead us to feeling like whole humans. That is our shadow. It’s what is behind us, it’s what’s not in the light.”— Satya Doyle ByockEpisode timestamps:00:00 — Dan’s intro: Jung’s shadow, dreamwork, wholeness, and more04:20 — Why Jung’s ideas are tough to summarize; his impact on culture06:08 — What “shadow” and shadow work actually mean09:46 — Synchronicity explained; meaningful coincidences in life17:12 — Collective unconscious: myth, archetype, and Jung vs. Freud21:55 — Putting Jung into practice—tools for wholeness and reclaiming life force 24:09 — The Two Selves Exercise: balancing safety and meaning29:07 — Naming and mapping your shadow selves; Internal Family Systems overlaps34:07 — Pie charting your psychic tension: wild side vs. civilized side42:25 — How to get in touch with hidden and creative parts (it’s okay to make it an art project!)49:19 — What is dreamwork and how do you use it in practice?54:13 — Why recording dreams could make you happier (even if you don’t see it at first)58:05 — Using dreamwork and curiosity for greater creativity and meaning59:50 — Common dream themes: late for something = civil war inside?61:12 — The relief of having your unconscious “feel seen”71:00 — Satya’s book Quarter Life, other resources, and closing To hear more, visit www.danharris.com