Teens, screens and mobiles: bans and boundaries: 154

Listen to this episode from Parenting teenagers untangled. 🏆 Your Weekly Hug on Spotify. What do you think of this episode? Do you have any topics you'd like me to cover?The latest narrative around online safety, phones and devices, is pushing for bans to keep our kids safer and happier. The idea is to give them back their childhood and prevent them from accessing harmful content.  Catherine Knibbs, a child psychotherapist and cyber trauma expert argues in her latest book that social media bans won't work because we can't even properly define what it is we want to ban, and when we do ban devices we actually leave our kids vulnerable. The thinking is that when we tell our child they can't, we miss out on the opportunity to guide them through what Catherine Knibbs describes as the 'digital city park.' In Tech Smart Parenting, Catherine gives an alternative to the panic and prohibition many parents feel about technology. Instead, she talks about the stages of allowing our kids access to that park, and how a staged approach that is managed by us parents, will offer the safest route.There are four core risks she's identified that our kids face and that need to be discusssed.Content - what people can accessContact - who they can be put in contact withConsumerism - selling to young and vulnerable mindsConduct - the way they behave in a digital environmentIn this interview she explains how we can have open, non-judgmental conversations about technology, gives us strategies for setting boundaries without creating shame, supporting neurodivergent children in digital environments and the importance of sitting side by side with our children and learning with them.The acronym she uses to remind us of our role in this journey is CPR:We need to beConsistent in our rulesPersistent in their applicationResistent to the begging of our kidsPersonally, I worry that many parents don't have much of an idea of what their kids are being exposed to online and that there needs to be a strong culture of support and education around what their kids might see. I'd be a fan of a 'driving licence' approach, which is why I've created this checklist of things to consider, and will produce a booklet of discussion questions to help us parents understand what needs to be covered when we give our kids a phone. CHECKLIST OF THINGS TO DISCUSS: Further details coming on my websiteHow much time and when they are online - Ep. 96Showing up as our best selves online - Ep. 43Family values - Ep. 93 & Ep. 135Downloading apps and what needs to be discussed before they do - Ep. 50Commercialism: how we are being targeted and why it's an issue - Ep. 130Grooming: spotting the signs - Ep. 67Sexting - Ep. 4Porn - Ep. 13CTA - Follow, Five Stars, ReviewSupport the showPlease hit the follow button if you like the podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit. You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message. I don't have medical training so please seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping. My email is [email protected] And my website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact me:www.teenagersuntangled.com Find me on Substack Teenagersuntangled.substack.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/teenagersuntangled/Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/teenagersuntangled/You can reach Susie at www.amindful-life.co.uk