41. Sex Therapist Vanessa Marin: How to Boost Libido, Talk About Sex, and Actually Finish

Listen to this episode from CAPS LOCK on Spotify. In this episode, Sam sits down with sex therapist Vanessa Marin to answer your biggest questions about sex. Why do I have low (or no) sex drive? How can I fix it? How do I initiate sex without feeling embarrassed? How do we keep the spark alive after all this time? After marriage? After kids? And the big one: Why can't I finish, and how do I achieve orgasm? Listen to this episode if your sex life could use a boost, if you want to prevent your sex life from fizzling out, or if you want to learn some tips and tricks from a sex expert who gets it. Key moments: 00:00:35 Guest introduction 00:02:21 The crazy story of why Vanessa became a sex therapist (she was 11 lol) 00:05:33 Proactively working on your relationship inside AND outside the bedroom 00:06:50 “Effortless” sex 00:07:55 Vanessa’s approach to couples sex therapy 00:8:29 Do you need to have sex to feel connected? Or feel connected to have sex? 00:10:27 The single most important characteristic of your sex life 00:12:46 How to NOT let your sex life fizzle out (preventative steps) 00:13:06 The #1 way to keep your sex life healthy 00:15:01 The 3 places intimacy issues start 00:18:45 How to boost your libido when you have low (or no) sex drive 00:19:49 Hot take: desire is overrated 00:21:38 The 2 different types of sex drive (WOMEN PAY ATTENTION!) 00:22:34 85% of women need THIS to get turned on 00:23:51 Having a different sex drive than your partner (SUSHI LOL) 00:25:50 Meeting your partner’s libido and getting on the same page 00:28:33 The best way to communicate that you’re not interested in sex after your partner initiates 00:31:57 How to keep the spark alive instead of slipping into “roommates” 00:33:50 Scheduling sex??? 00:39:36 This is when most couples’ sex lives start fizzling out 00:41:35 How to refresh your sex life in a long-term relationship 00:44:52 One tiny (easy) thing you can do to excite your partner 00:45:09 How to initiate sex with your partner in a way that doesn’t feel embarrassing 00:45:54 The 2 most important things about initiating sex with your partner 00:49:13 Okay, let’s talk about the actual sex 00:49:29 HOW TO ORGASM, FOR WOMEN 00:50:55 Women/men same 00:54:58 91% of women said intercourse isn’t the most pleasurable sexual activity 00:55:25 How to speak up about what you want during sex 00:57:46 Sex rapid fire Q+A! 00:58:22 Most overrated sex position 00:58:52 Most underrated sex advice 00:59:36 The unsexiest thing that improves your sex life 00:59:53 The sex position everyone should try at least once 01:00:28 The sex misconception that needs to go away forever 01:00:47 The #1 mood killer 01:01:33 What every woman needs to know about sex Join ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠WHOOP⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. Visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠FunctionHealth.com/CAPSLOCK⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. Follow along: Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.instagram.com/lifeincapslock⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠  TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.tiktok.com/@lifeincapslock⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠  YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.youtube.com/@lifeincapslock⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠  Threads: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.threads.net/@lifeincapslock⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices