why you keep repeating the same dysfunctional relationship patterns (ft. the holistic psychologist)

Listen to this episode from back from the borderline on Spotify. In this episode, I sit down with Dr. Nicole LePera, known to millions as The Holistic Psychologist, to explore the nature of love, intimacy, and authentic connection. Before her rise to nearly 5 million followers on Instagram, Nicole was a clinical psychologist grappling with the limitations of traditional mental health care—a system that often reduces symptoms to lifelong labels. Through her extensive research into trauma, epigenetics, and conscious awareness, Nicole began to challenge conventional teachings and embrace a more holistic approach to healing. Her bestselling book, How to Do the Work, sparked a movement, and her upcoming work promises to dive even deeper into creating “heart-based, authentically connected relationships.”Together, we unpack the deeper roots of our relationship struggles, exploring why so many of us feel trapped in cycles of dysfunctional patterns. Nicole shares insights on how unresolved fears—like a fear of silence, death, and change—can prevent us from forming genuine, intimate bonds. We delve into the ways in which childhood survival mechanisms, developed to keep us safe, often morph into self-sabotaging behaviors that hinder our attempts at love and connection in adulthood.In this conversation, Nicole also addresses:Why treating mental health symptoms without addressing their roots can leave us feeling stuckThe concept of “love” as a universal human need and how it shapes our early development and relationshipsHow feelings of unworthiness show up in parent-child dynamics and continue in our adult romantic livesThe importance of grieving relationship endings fully, rather than rushing to move onHow boundaries and space can deepen the bonds we share with othersIf you’ve ever wondered why certain patterns seem to repeat in your relationships or how to break free from self-sabotage in love, this episode offers transformative insights. Join us as we dive into the psychology of connection and discover how to cultivate relationships that feel truly heart-centered and whole. Craving more? Become a Premium Submarine. Join an exclusive community and unlock hundreds of hours of members-only content: full-length episodes, deep-dive series, guided meditations, and more—all for the cost of a couple of coffees a month. Start exploring at backfromtheborderline.com.The information contained in this podcast episode is for educational and entertainment purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for treatment or consultation with a licensed mental health professional. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.