Ep. 16 | Mark Groves: Why you keep repeating the same relational patterns and how to stop.

Listen to this episode from ENHEARTENED with Xavier Dagba on Spotify. Are you caught in cycles of self-abandonment, people-pleasing, or relationships that mirror your pain? In this powerful conversation with Mark Groves, we explore what it truly means to live from your truth, even when it costs you comfort, connection, or the familiar. We talk about the physiological toll of betraying yourself, how to stop sabotaging healthy love, and the rituals that allow love to evolve. Mark shares his story of breaking off an engagement, walking away from Instagram at the peak of his influence, and how he and his now-wife rekindled their relationship through radical truth and sacred pause. We dive deep into the nervous system, anxious/avoidant patterns, cancel culture, AI, and how to cultivate self-trust in relationships that challenge us to grow. This is a transmission for anyone ready to stop sabotaging healthy love and start creating connection rooted in truth. 👇 JOIN INTEGRATE (next cohort begins June 29): https://www.xavierdagba.com/integrate-apply CONNECT WITH MARK GROVES Website: https://www.createTheLove.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/createthelove Substack: https://humaning.substack.com Podcast: The Mark Groves Podcast EXPLORE XAVIER'S WORLD: → Newsletter: https://newsletter.xavierdagba.com → Website: https://www.xavierdagba.com → Membership: https://www.xavierdagba.com/elp-unleashed → Podcast on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/6sxXNMfsN9FnK34glRnkFC → Podcast on Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/enheartened-with-xavier-dagba/id1798866363 CHAPTERS 0:00 - Intro: The Cost of Self-Betrayal 0:43 - Welcome and why truth matters in love 3:01 - Speaking truth in family & systems 5:03 - Being the truth-teller in your family 7:05 - Spine and heart: the archetypes of safety 10:08 - Mark’s personal story of breaking patterns 14:35 - Leaving social media and reclaiming power 18:00 - How notifications stress the nervous system 21:00 - Social media, self-abandonment & sickness 24:00 - The trait of truth-telling no matter the cost 27:00 - The spiritual price of betraying your knowing 31:00 - Rekindling love after rupture with Kylie 35:56 - The power of a conscious closing ceremony 39:00 - Rituals that transform endings into beginnings 46:01 - Relationship 2.0: starting fresh, together 49:00 - Trust, uncertainty & anxious attachment 53:00 - Mutuality and the power of saying no more 59:00 - Possession by the wound & interrupting patterns 1:04:10 - Why rupture can build deeper intimacy 1:10:13 - Upgrading our collective conflict IQ 1:12:00 - The Four Horsemen of Relationship Breakdown 1:19:09 - The rise of artificial connection 1:27:00 - Are we burned out from too much connection? 1:29:20 - Mark’s sacred scar of gold: premature birth 1:36:12 - What part of you are you still learning to love? #MarkGroves #XavierDagba #INTEGRATE #SelfLiberation #RelationalHealing #AnxiousAttachment #AvoidantAttachment #EnheartenedPodcast #EmotionalHealing #RelationshipRepair #PersonalGrowth #ShadowWork