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https://aella.substack.com/p/what-i-learned-from-my-date-me-experiment/comment/4968212

Will on Knowingless

1. I wish I knew the nature of the not-quite-fit (assuming it's not just the language barrier, because anyone can fix that in a few months), but maybe you had a reason not to write about it here so it's fine if you don't want to share. 2. How does one rationally calibrate the threshold of "good enough to stop searching and put a ring on her and put a baby in her" versus "roll the dice on another LTR"? 3. I wonder if some people keep rolling the dice excessively because nothing IRL measures up to stuff they see on TV/movies. The reference class is contaminated by fictional/cherrypicked evidence and that biases the threshold upward. Worse, the reference class lies somewhere deep down in the limbic system and only comes to conscious awareness as vague feelings. I think I've had this problem. In retrospect I knew some ladies in my youth who could have been good partners, but my physical standards were so absurdly high at the time that asking them out never even crossed my mind. Even when they dropped anvilicious hints that they were interested. Even when they're in let's say among the the top 20% prettiest girls at my school and I hung out with them on a daily basis as friends. 4. Ideally, when I find a 90/100, I should just marry them, and not keep rerolling forever for the perfect 100, because that way lies foreveralone-ness. I'm not getting any younger and de novo mutations mostly come from paternal age. Even as a man of 36 year I think my ability to attract a partner is past its peak.



Bing

Will on Knowingless

https://aella.substack.com/p/what-i-learned-from-my-date-me-experiment/comment/4968212

1. I wish I knew the nature of the not-quite-fit (assuming it's not just the language barrier, because anyone can fix that in a few months), but maybe you had a reason not to write about it here so it's fine if you don't want to share. 2. How does one rationally calibrate the threshold of "good enough to stop searching and put a ring on her and put a baby in her" versus "roll the dice on another LTR"? 3. I wonder if some people keep rolling the dice excessively because nothing IRL measures up to stuff they see on TV/movies. The reference class is contaminated by fictional/cherrypicked evidence and that biases the threshold upward. Worse, the reference class lies somewhere deep down in the limbic system and only comes to conscious awareness as vague feelings. I think I've had this problem. In retrospect I knew some ladies in my youth who could have been good partners, but my physical standards were so absurdly high at the time that asking them out never even crossed my mind. Even when they dropped anvilicious hints that they were interested. Even when they're in let's say among the the top 20% prettiest girls at my school and I hung out with them on a daily basis as friends. 4. Ideally, when I find a 90/100, I should just marry them, and not keep rerolling forever for the perfect 100, because that way lies foreveralone-ness. I'm not getting any younger and de novo mutations mostly come from paternal age. Even as a man of 36 year I think my ability to attract a partner is past its peak.



DuckDuckGo

https://aella.substack.com/p/what-i-learned-from-my-date-me-experiment/comment/4968212

Will on Knowingless

1. I wish I knew the nature of the not-quite-fit (assuming it's not just the language barrier, because anyone can fix that in a few months), but maybe you had a reason not to write about it here so it's fine if you don't want to share. 2. How does one rationally calibrate the threshold of "good enough to stop searching and put a ring on her and put a baby in her" versus "roll the dice on another LTR"? 3. I wonder if some people keep rolling the dice excessively because nothing IRL measures up to stuff they see on TV/movies. The reference class is contaminated by fictional/cherrypicked evidence and that biases the threshold upward. Worse, the reference class lies somewhere deep down in the limbic system and only comes to conscious awareness as vague feelings. I think I've had this problem. In retrospect I knew some ladies in my youth who could have been good partners, but my physical standards were so absurdly high at the time that asking them out never even crossed my mind. Even when they dropped anvilicious hints that they were interested. Even when they're in let's say among the the top 20% prettiest girls at my school and I hung out with them on a daily basis as friends. 4. Ideally, when I find a 90/100, I should just marry them, and not keep rerolling forever for the perfect 100, because that way lies foreveralone-ness. I'm not getting any younger and de novo mutations mostly come from paternal age. Even as a man of 36 year I think my ability to attract a partner is past its peak.

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      1. I wish I knew the nature of the not-quite-fit (assuming it's not just the language barrier, because anyone can fix that in a few months), but maybe you had a reason not to write about it here so it's fine if you don't want to share. 2. How does one rationally calibrate the threshold of "good enough to stop searching and put a ring on her and put a baby in her" versus "roll the dice on another LTR"? 3. I wonder if some people keep rolling the dice excessively because nothing IRL measures up to stuff they see on TV/movies. The reference class is contaminated by fictional/cherrypicked evidence and that biases the threshold upward. Worse, the reference class lies somewhere deep down in the limbic system and only comes to conscious awareness as vague feelings. I think I've had this problem. In retrospect I knew some ladies in my youth who could have been good partners, but my physical standards were so absurdly high at the time that asking them out never even crossed my mind. Even when they dropped anvilicious hints that they were interested. Even when they're in let's say among the the top 20% prettiest girls at my school and I hung out with them on a daily basis as friends. 4. Ideally, when I find a 90/100, I should just marry them, and not keep rerolling forever for the perfect 100, because that way lies foreveralone-ness. I'm not getting any younger and de novo mutations mostly come from paternal age. Even as a man of 36 year I think my ability to attract a partner is past its peak.
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