Shadow Rebbe on Defender’s Corner

If I had to define the technique/perspective/skill that was lacking it would be something like asking a direct question that would force the other side to clarify themselves in relation to what you are claiming. <Chris could have said: “are you saying I should stop watching things I love and watch things the critics like, even if I hate it?”> at this point Chris would have won NO MATTER WHAT THE RESPONSE WAS! you claim they would have said "of course not". But I don't think that it matters. Even if they have said yes, Chris would have an easy follow up- "explain" or better yet "explain- what you said is counter intuitive for me, and probably for many other people" this is a little different than your claim I think. You said you have to repeat back to them what you think they said and check in. And the resolution would lie in the correction of communication. I think the skill is more in asking a direct and clear question that would focus us on the topic at hand- even if everyone still disagrees. I'm not sure /how/ different this is. But I think my way bypasses the need for compassion. You are trying to target the disagreement- not clear up and find out you really agree. Does this make sense to you?